The other side
by Smudje
Summary: Lisbon's past. They had already lost her. Her brother realized too late that she had given everything she had to help them grieving and living but they had given nothing. I'm no good at summaries....


A/N: It's probably a little confusing and I hope it's any good. I apreciate to hear(read) what you think about it.

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**Lisbon was already lost**

The beat was pulsing through her veins. The light flickered before her face almost putting her into a trance. Swaety people were swaying to the beat around driving her. With closed eyes she let the angry melodies wash over her. Using it as a ventile. Sucumbing to it. Leaving all her pain but mostly her anger to the eager hands of the music sorrounding her. This was the place she could let go. She could breathe. Since her mother's death she had to take over her role. She didn't raise her hand and forced her family to accept her new role. It was more the case that the men in her family seemed to expect it. It didn't startle them finding her doing her mother's chores. Keeping them in line while she was fading away. She hated them sometimes. But she already was way too numb to truly care. Shaking her head to get rid of those emotions she took a swig from the beer she held and returning to the dance floor again. Angry metal sounds were raining onto her body were cutting into her mind. A smile spread on her face when she started to move to the smashing beats and screaming gituar. While she was throwing her hair a pair of hands snaked around her waist. Slowly Lisbon turned around facing a beautiful young girl grinning at her longingly.

„You havn't been here for awhile," the girl stated.

Lisbon shrugged and smiled in response leaning in to capture the full lips of the girl drawing attention to themsleves which they didn't really care about.

The girl didn't expect Lisbon to explain or say something. In the beginning she had thought that Lisbon simply couldn't speak. But well she simply didn't like giving things away about her. And words were overrated anyway thinking about their various nights together with a smile. The girl was also aware that Lisbon was known to move on rather quickly. She simply hoped this was different.

It was three in the morning when Lisbon laid down in the backyard finding the front door and back door locked as the window to her room. Those were her father's weak attempts to teach her a lesson for dancing out of line. For skipping school. For being elusive. She laughed without humor. Her father took her for granted helping out filling the place her mother had left empty. Especially watching over her brothers. Her father never even questioned were the money came from they lived of. He got little money home and most of it usually only made it into the liquor store. He punished her for skipping school. Still she had good marks but he didn't care about that. He probably didn't even know. Her only ally was her twin brother. He hadn't asked any questions either for about two years after their mother's death. Then he got suspicious and ever since he tried to carry the burden with her. Bringing in money and trying to not fail in school. He knew about her nightly activities. But he couldn't blame her. About a year later he had to realize that he had lost her. Already a long time ago.

There were rumors about her. No nice ones. Saying she was wrong. Disgusting. Her brother found out about her „flaw" after beating up one of the jocks claiming she had fucked his girlfriend. He had looked at his sister asking for confirmation and she simply smiled. So the guy actually had a reason to beat up Lisbon. Of course she hadn't talked to him. She never did. They had abandoned her after their mother had died. She had taught them to trurn to someone, her, when they needed help. They usually had. Now he realized that she couldn't. That she had been alone ever since. That she had been almost forced to take matters about the family in her own hands. They never thanked her. When she left she didn't look back. They had lost her so long ago.

When their father found out about her he had punished her. She was forced to miss another two days of school because she could hardly walk.

He had developed a drug problem. She had been there. Not resenting him. Not judging him but offering him her hand. As always had to their entire family. When he realized she had a drug issue too he was shocked. He realized he didn't know her at all. She was reaching out but no one did the same for her. She wasn't perfect for what they had resented her for after their mother's death. She had seemed so. But she wasn't. She was running on empty. He had tried to reach out but he had already lost her. When he found her half dead on their house's rooftop he hadn't been ready to fathom all of her pain. But he acted and she survived. But she never talked to him. When he found out about the boy she was seeing he wanted to protect her. He knew he was a bad one. But probably she knew too. She had made it clear that she didn't need protection. She could have been cruel about it. Telling him what he had missed all those years but she didn't. She had played fair. She always had. He could tell she didn't love him. Nonetheless she endured the torture the boy put her through. Unitl she left. That was when he realized that her sister always did things on her terms. Was in control. But then her self destructive streak had showed again. He was scared for her. Because they were so much alike. Well twins. The difference: He had a guardian angel she didn't. Before his father had drank himself to death he told him what a great dad he had been. He didn't even blink. But his sister had made it through. Was one of the kick ass cops he had pictured her after she had started the acadamy. He was so happy that she made it. Especially Teresa Lisbon deserved it. She made it completely on her own. That's the saddest passage of this story.

They hadn't talked in ages. Maybe they should someday.


End file.
